Rebel Rousers

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Original Haiku:

I am mystified.
Bloated shapes and swirling lines,
vivid color passing by

Rewrite:

rebel rousers spray
old buildings and trains—
billowy shapes and lines

Has anyone ever created graffiti on the side of a train or building? I haven’t…I guess I’m not a rebel rouser.

Have a fantastic Monday!

~Nicole

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Wine & Canvas: Whimsical Winter Tree

We had a packed house at Wine & Canvas last Friday night. This was a private class to celebrate a birthday! As always, there were many unique backgrounds and trees. While everyone was painting, laughter and giggling filled the room—that is always a good sign. Thanks again to all who were able to join us.

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Whimsical Winter Haiku

Swirling snow
floating from sky
tips of branches glisten

~

I hope you have had a happy weekend!

~Nicole

Change is Inevitable

Tonight, Denise and I are hosting our final Wine & Canvas event for 2014! I still haven’t finished the painting. Thankfully, we are starting later than usual so I have a little time to finish the whimsical tree.

~

Today, I found a haiku I wrote in September. I decided to use part of the last line to create another haiku.

Here’s the original: 

Mossy river bank—
little nooks and crannies are
filled with the unknown

Here’s the rewrite: 

the unknown
slithers into my mind—
inevitable change

Are you afraid of the unknown or do charge forward with confidence?

Have a great weekend!

~Nicole

The Wagazine Winter Edition is Available!

The new winter edition of The Wagazine is now available. I wrote an article about bringing home a cat or kitten for the first time. The link is highlighted above. Please check out page 30 if you’re a cat lover.

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Save Room for Dessert; wine, cheese, chocolate

Back in September, I wrote about delish dessert wines for Rochester Women magazine. Here’s the haiku I wrote:

Grapes, berries, and spice.
Cordial glasses filled for an
evening delight.

My goal is to unify the last word of each line. Here’s the rewrite:

Dessert Wines Haiku

A rich vintage port—
swirl and sniff the sweet aroma
savor each sip

~

 Do you like sweet dessert wines?

Have a great Thursday!

~Nicole

The Tea Room at Maywood Mansion

In October, I went to the Mayowood Mansion. I wrote a haiku about the tea room located on the property. I went through the creative checklist and I discovered a few things that I wanted to revise. Rather than focusing on the room, why not focus on what goes on in the room.

Touring Mayowood Mansion

This is the original:

Mayowood Mansion Tea Room Haiku

A tea room sits on
a hillside. Waiting for guests—
now, it’s time for tea

~

Here is the rewrite:

Mayowood Mansion Tea Room Haiku

An exquisite teapot
black tea leaves steep—
sipping

I focused more on the subject as prescribed in The Portable MFA’s Creative Checklist. I also like the unity of the last word of each line.

What is your process for revising a poem?

 Have a wonderful Wednesday!

~Nicole

Endings and Beginnings from Week 8

Tuesday’s Writing Tips:

Portable MFA in Creative Writing

The 8th and Final Week: Endings and Beginnings

How do I know when my poem is really done? The best method to know a poem is done is to keep revising it until you have worn out the impulse to work on it.

Write about your own poem: what you like in it, what you love about it. Write about what you remember in terms of the process of writing the poem. Did it come all in a flash? Did it germinate slowly? Did a specific memory or incident prompt it?

Rewrite the poem taking the heart out of the poem…yep, the most important thing. Then, rewrite it a second time and go where another theme or subject start to bubble up. Follow that lead. Finally, rewrite a third time using the last line from the rewrite. Forget everything that came before the last line. Make your end your beginning, and see what happens.

Creative Checklist:

  1. What is the strangest thing you’ve written during these last eight weeks?
  2. What is the least finished?
  3. Have you looked at the beginning, middle, and end of your lines in your poems?
  4. Have you faithfully done your outside reading?
  5. Go back and read the first poem you tackled by that intimidating writer. Is the poem more resonant for you?
  6. What have you written that truly surprised you?
  7. According to your own eye and ear, how has your writing changed over the last eight weeks? Is it messier? Deeper? Worse? Better?
  8. And finally, how has your sense of yourself as a poet changed?

Throughout the week I will answer the eight questions above. I’ll start today with the first—the strangest thing I’ve written. I found the haiku, Trapped, from November 5th along with the picture that I posted with it.

Trapped Haiku Poetry

Trapped Haiku

Weave a tangled web—
Freedom exits as she speaks.
Soon her mind stops.

Here’s the second rewrite:

I am free to choose
the direction of my life—
dreams boiling over.

Here’s the third rewrite: 

Dreams boiling over
like a Dali painting.
Swarm, ooze and paralyze.

Here’s another rewrite: 

Soon her mind stops—
dreams slowly fading.
a lackluster life.

Hey poets, how do you determine when a poem is complete?

~Nicole